Page 815 - Shakespeare - Vol. 3

CLOWN

I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught. I know my business is but to
the court.

COUNTESS
To the court! Why, what place make you [5] special, when you put off that
with such contempt? But to the court!

CLOWN

Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners he may easily put it off at
court. He that cannot make a leg, put off’s cap, kiss his hand, and say
nothing, [10] has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a fellow, to
say precisely, were not for the court. But for me, I have an answer will serve
all men.

COUNTESS

Marry, that’s a bountiful answer that fits all questions. [15]

CLOWN

It is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks: the pin-buttock, the quatch-
buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock.

COUNTESS
Will your answer serve fit to all questions?

CLOWN
As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, [20] as your French crown

for your taffety punk, as Tib’s rush for Tom’s forefinger, as a pancake for
Shrove Tuesday, a morris for May-day, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to
his horn, as a scolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun’s lip to the
friar’s mouth; nay, as [25] the pudding to his skin.

COUNTESS
Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for all questions?

CLOWN
From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any question. [30]