Page 578 - Shakespeare - Vol. 3

FABIAN

I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.

SIR TOBY
And they have been grand-jurymen since before [15] Noah was a sailor.

FABIAN
She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to
awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your

liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some excellent [20] jests,
fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked: the double gilt of this
opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of
my lady’s opinion, where [25] you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s

beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either of valour or
policy.

SIR ANDREW
And’t be any way, it must be with valour, for policy I hate: I had as lief be a
Brownist as a politician. [30]

SIR TOBY

Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. Challenge me the
Count’s youth to fight with him, hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take
note of it; and assure thyself there is no love-broker in the world can more
prevail in man’s [35] commendation with woman than report of valour.

FABIAN
There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

SIR ANDREW
Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?

SIR TOBY

Go, write it in a martial hand, be curst and [40] brief: it is no matter how
witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the licence of
ink. If thou thou’st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss, and as many lies as