Page 1345 - Shakespeare - Vol. 2

By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if thou be so shrewd
of thy tongue.

ANTONIO
In faith, she’s too curst.

BEATRICE
Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God’s sending that way; for it is
said, God sends a curst [20] cow short horns’, but to a cow too curst he sends

none.

LEONATO
So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.

BEATRICE
Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my
knees every morning and [25] evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband
with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woollen.

LEONATO

You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

BEATRICE

What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my
waiting-gentlewoman? He [30] that hath a beard is more than a youth, and
he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is more than a youth is
not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will

even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell.
[35]

LEONATO
Well then, go you into hell?

BEATRICE
No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold with
horns on his head, and say ‘Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven;

here’s no place for you maids.’ So deliver I up my apes, [40] and away to