Page 1044 - Shakespeare - Vol. 2

FALSTAFF

He a good wit? Hang him, baboon! His wit ’s as thick as Tewkesbury mustard.
There’s no more conceit in him than is in a mallet.

DOLL
Why does the prince love him so, then? [235]

FALSTAFF
Because their legs are both of a bigness, and ’a plays at quoits well, and eats

conger and fennel, and drinks off candles’ ends for flap-dragons, and rides the
wild-mare with the boys, and jumps upon joined-stools, and swears with a
good grace, and wears his boots very [240] smooth, like unto the sign of the
leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other
gambol faculties ’a has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the

which the prince admits him. For the prince himself is such another; the
weight of a hair will [245] turn the scales between their avoirdupois.

PRINCE
Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?

POINS
Let’s beat him before his whore.

PRINCE
Look, whether the withered elder hath not his [250] poll clawed like a parrot.

POINS

Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?

FALSTAFF

Kiss me, Doll.

PRINCE
Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What [255] says the almanac to
that?

POINS